I found myself in a very strange feeling, when watching the trailer of Nymphomaniac’s official trailer. Instead of shouting “Hurrah!” for finally women’s sexuality can be talked about, I instead found myself feeling a huge hesitation.
What was wrong with me, I asked myself. Why would I be having problems of watching women talking about her sexual life in films, when I was more than frank about my own sexual experiences?
For days I have been having this question bugging me like bees flying near my ears, where you can hear the noises they make. But I think I am coming to some conclusion, and the conclusion would be much easier to understand if I bring Michael Fassbender and his “Shame” in.
I remember when I was watching the film, watching him got naked and showing the audience his character’s sex life, I was watching him like a scientist – like a scientist watching objects of research moving around, doing things. Despite the fact my partner complained about having to sit for hours watching M.F. have sex like an animal with women in the film, I was able to be remain objective and watch with critical gaze.
Yet for C.G. and her Nymphomaniac, I have a strong feeling that I am experiencing the anxiety or any similar feeling my partner had on M.F. – we are both much more intimidated by the frankness on the sexuality of our own kind. Maybe I should watch it, to face the fear…