The Bell Jar

The Bell Jar

I long known its existence,
but never thought about reading it at all.
Then my man persuaded me to read it,
after I had a huge breakdown at the beginning of my year out.
I was struggling with the “status difference” based on I didn’t pass one of my first year module in university, when people seem moved on to things so normally.
I couldn’t help but feeling the world left me, my partner would eventually leave me too for my lack of brilliance – I thought to myself.
I felt the same amount of sadness Esther Greenwood felt in the novel,
for the inability to make changes for our situations…
Despite the difference in context, but we both felt trapped in some ways. We both believed we have had some kind of brilliance; we both worked very hard academically to become something we want to be. Yet over many external reasons, we ended up stuck or have little options but to overcome what is available for us at the time. Of course, her options were much smaller than mine.
I only able to see now, on why did my man persuaded me to read the book, he long had seen the similar path I was to take after Esther Greenwood, after Sylvia Plath.

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