– The Hours –

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I often found “The Hours” very comfortable, I can either watch it seriously or put it as a background scenes when writing for my story. My partner claimed that must be Philip Glass’s music made me feel that sense of comfort, but I guess the film itself kinda related to my mental state.

Virginia Woolf was for me an ideal self, she was a woman of intelligence and able to write well. Yet she struggled with her mental health, especially when doctors around her seemed have authority to determine the very self that no one could control but her, yet they seemed have taken her rights to decide and control despite the ownership was not in them. I wouldn’t doubt if she got sick of the society and decided to finish herself – along with her feeling losing control over her mental health. There was a quote she spoke as she was with her sister, “Even crazy people liked to be asked.” – the right to live, decided and make decision for self.

Laura Brown the American housewife on the other hand, seemed struggling to progress over her marriage and family life. She felt a sense of ennui, the ennui was intensified when she failed to bake a cake. She struggled to find meaning over what her life was about, despite she returned home in the end with family.

Clarissa was the Mrs Dalloway Virginia Woolf would’ve imagined, she tried so hard to live for others – for example keeping Richard’s company. Yet she was in fear, when Richard questioned her the plans whenever after he passed away. In many ways, she seemed neglect everyone and herself as she prepared for the party, as if her life wasn’t worth celebrating. At the end she had to learn to adapt the new life without Richard, as he decided to finish himself.

All women seemed struggle to find meanings over the meaning of life, the meaning of their own life and meaning of happiness…I guess I was more related to Virginia as I want a life where I won’t be determined by others on every aspects of myself, from my mental health to rights of happiness.

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