Jamie Dornan

– Secretary v.s. 50 Shades –

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Around mid February, I watched the two most distinctive BDSM film in the same week. One with my friend J, one with my man. The two film talked similar theme with different context and background, and therefore received very different fate from one another.

The one I watched with J filled with a man and a woman, the woman was inexperienced and the man was “so-called” damaged inside despite great deal of wealth. He showered her with luxuries that ordinary people could not possibly afford, while grooming her to be able to adjust his BDSM preference. She wanted him with her own ideals of what love supposed to be, while she was able to adjust some parts of it, she began to grow fearful over his controlling ways – for example, stalking her all the way to her mother’s hometown. He often placed her in isolated state, secrecy left her impossible to consult others for the situation. Eventually she decided to leave, for feeling too overwhelmed by him.

The other one I watched filled with a woman who had been troubled by self-harm and a lawyer who has been dealing with his dominating nature, he was her boss. One night he saw her harming herself and resolved to stop her doing so, by giving orders to her on things to be done. The effect strangely turned her to better state, while families were worried for her. Eventually her boss feared his nature out of control and rejected her, yet she won him back by fighting her way and her patience.

Both film were equally pretty and lovely, yet I enjoyed the latter better for greater positivity and the characters seemed more equal.

– 50 Shades of Grey –

In a way 50 Shades of Grey was my guilty pleasure,

it was a film about BDSM, but it was born under the wing of “Twilight” series – it was originally a fan-fiction of the series.

Secondly for the attraction I had on Christian Grey (aka the other Edward), he was sexy, smart and very much the standard man any women would go for.

While for many women, the catch he had was his interest in BDSM (Bondage Discipline Sadomasochism). For me, it was the same trail I found in Ed Cullen: Stalking and signs of Domestic Violence. 

As a result, I found myself less in love with the character and the heroine, for her stupidity to recognize the symptoms and stand up to it.

But then, maybe the problem was, that we never got an education/lesson on how to operate a relationship?